It's not easy being a train conductor. They often have to take the blame for any delays or cancellations, which doesn't always make them the favorites in the eyes of the passengers. But these charming, original announcements may have helped soothe some wounds.
These 14 excuses definitely compensate for any delays:
- "Departure will be delayed by a few minutes. Windows must now restart."
- "Please have your tickets ready. Fare dodgers, have your ID's ready!"
- "If you'd please allow the man in the blue jacket to board, we can depart on time. He's the conductor!"
- "A few feet in front of us there is an owl on the tracks, staring at me with a funny look. I'm not really sure what to do."
- "Please don't press any control buttons. You don't have a go at the deep fryer at McDonald's do you?"
- "White Sox fans have no business being in first class. Your record isn't exactly first class, after all."
- After the air conditioning failed in the train: "My name is Michael and I'll be guiding this sweat lodge today!"
- "Since the train tracks are so slippery this morning, we've passed the platform."
- "To prevent you from having heat shock when you exit the train, we've let the air conditioning fail today."
- "Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, according to the rules I have to welcome you on this train headed to Cologne."
- "Math assignment for the teachers out there. How much faster can we board if we use all eight doors instead of just one?"
- "If there are any police on board, we have some customers for you in Car 9."
- "The connecting train to Madison is officially not waiting for us. But since the conductor is my son-in-law, we'll catch it anyways."
- "The bad news is: We're 11 minutes late. The good news is: Your connections are even more delayed!"
Just a little sign that conductors have a sense of humor, too. It's definitely worth listening to those announcements next time, maybe you'll find a part-time comedian!
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